Udder Craziness

Stepping over the edge

2006-01-25T07:37:00.000-08:00

Who wants the truth. Most of us do! Let's not side step the real issues here people!

Tell the truth, because one day it'll come out. If you tell it now, you can save some of your dignity. If you try to hide it and it inevitably comes out, shame on you! There will be no sympathy.

*Note* this is to ALL of us who have lied. Let's just be honest here people! Life is too short to fabricate and be such asses!

2005-12-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

You know what. I don't even think boyfriend/girlfriend with me and you. To me it goes way beyond that. It goes way deeper than that. It goes straight to the heart.

Untrusting

2005-12-03T05:26:00.000-08:00

Trust has always been a big issue for me. I started off with my Dad leaving my mom for another woman to my mom marrying a guy who tried to kill her and verbally and mentally fucked me. Then I went from that to a stepdad who tried to molest me to a first love who mentally and physically abused me. From there I went to a second love who mentally and physically abused me to another relationship where I only let the fucker put his hands on me one time. Every one of those people suggested or even said that it was MY fault.

I'm not sure if the trust issue stems from all that or if it is just everyone I've ever loved has cheated on me and hurt me in some form or fashion.

The burning question is how can I let all that go and trust. I've been told that it's as easy as giving someone the benefit of the doubt. If it was that easy I would do it.

My lack of trust for someone isn't because i want it to be that way because believe me it's a lot less fun for me than it is for you. My lack of trust is my protection for my heart. When you've been hurt time and time and time and time again, the heart only naturally builds a self defense mechanism. Mine is to question all things that could potentially hurt my heart. Is it the right thing to do? NO. But how is someone supposed to forget all that has happened and start with a clean slate. Does it suck that I question the one I love? Absolutely. I'm not perfect by any means and you soooooo aren't. Why do you have to harp on this one thing. Harping doesn't help. Guidance and understanding go a long way! To help my heart you must be patient. Know that I try EVERY day to make every second the most special you've ever had. Know that I would do anything in my power to never see you hurt. Why can't those things be looked at and not the just that I don't trust you. I don't not trust you, I don't trust anyone.

I wish I could, I don't know how! I do know that lying to me is not the way to ease this restraint around my heart. If anything, it has given it a tighter grasp.

I laid in bed last night and I felt so sad. When we laugh ourselves to sleep, i never think "Well I bet he cheated on me today". When you come home and smile at me with that beautiful smile of yours I never think "Well he cheated on me today". YOu think this is something that is a daily basis and it is not. HOwever, i'm damn proud of how much better my heart has become. I'm damn proud of who I am after ALL i've been through. I'm damn proud that I was able to walk away from what I've been through and actually still be capable of love.

My heart, as fragile and untrusting as it is, is yours. It has been from the moment you played that song for me. It has been ever since you wrapped me tight in your embrace. It has been ever since you've made me feel safe. There are so many things that I appreciate about you that I rarely ever harp on the negative. Can't you do the same. Lend me a hand and guide me into this scary world of an unprotected heart. You have that power, are you willing to except that responsibility?

2005-11-20T14:07:00.000-08:00

The leaves are mostly gone. That makes me sad.

hi

2005-11-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

2005-11-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

=

2005-11-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

So. I know i'm not even in the backseat anymore. I'm like trailing along behind the car on a make-shift sled. I really should update more often! THANKS, b.

Work. Hard as hell, must remember to change morning coffee to "sparks".

Home. Lots of leaves. Acorn tree makes walking on a ice skating rink. Scared I will lose balance and bust my as..

Play. It is harvest time!

So. That sums it all up for me. I do miss posting, i have seriously zero time to blog at my new job. My old job was like getting to ride your most favorite, kick ass roller coaster TWICE in a row without having to get off b/c it's getting dark compared to this new one!

Mental note. Amy you really must quit being such a whiny ass and imposing your "bad days" on everyone. They all have their own days. Yours is really important to you, not so much to others. It's o.k.

Happy Friday

2005-10-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Get on outta here

2005-10-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

I ran for 15 minutes today! I've been running for 10 minutes a day, but I jumped right up to 15 minutes. That was half the time of my workout. I'm super happy about that!

I'm going to lose that weight i talked about in my previous post. You just WAIT!

Took these this weekend :)

2005-10-05T04:47:00.000-07:00

Getting EXCITED

2005-09-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be skinny. JUST WAIT. I'll post result pics too :)

Some shots :)

2005-09-21T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hellooo Sun

2005-09-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

One of the many things I *heart*!

Random

2005-09-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

Come check out some random photos i took. :)

I'll post again soon. PROMISE!

For all the right reasons

2005-08-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

The job has slacked up a bit. I get the work done really fast and then sit there thinking 'oh shit I have nothing to do' then the boredom creeps in and the minutes are sooo slow.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want out of my life. What I want is not what I do. Sure I could quite possibly live a lucrative life and climb up the corporate ladder because I have that kind of drive when I give 110%. I have faith in almost everything I do. The only thing I lack faith in is love.

But I want to be a photographer. I want to live this one life that I have with the most potential and heart stopping moments. I want so much laughter and soo many tears that they could fill a whole football stadium. I love tears because they help me grow they cleanse me in a way. I feel so fortunate to have the ability to pick up myself, dust myself off and move on. So many people have that fear and I would share that with the world because to have that is to have control over your own destiny. Noone else can bring you down unless you chose for them to. When it's over you pick up, move on, and remember that everything is a learning process. Those moments of pain are worth so much when it is all said and done. And I can take THAT from all those tears and smile so freely.

I want my photographs to be something that someone looks at and they feel that emotion that I tried to capture. The way the sun felt the day that I took that picture. The way the wind smelled when I took that picture. The way that person was so imensly happy that they could just burst. I want my pictures to tell a story and to bring insightfulness and a place of warmth and comfort when they are looked at by the viewer.

I have to just keep telling myself that. I'm doing this for a reason and that reason is for EXACTLY what I just listed above. Missing time away from my boyfriend when I'm at school is hard for me. I know I see him on a regular basis but he is my place of warmth and comfort and I don't like anything standing in the way of that. I still smile from ear to ear everyday when he walks into the door. I still hate to get out of bed in the mornings because laying in bed with him IS my favorite past time. We have the most important and personal conversations in the bed. Those times are so special to me, but I have got to think past that and remember that school is for a bigger and better thing, the time I'm away now will only bring me closer to my destiny.

I can't wait :)

2005-08-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

My life sometimes feels like it's in slow motion, but as the weeks pass I look back and think to myself on a regular basis "Wow, and that was just a blink of an eye"

2005-08-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

God, I forgot how much I miss and love my friend Tay!

Weekend Update Numero Uno

2005-07-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

So much has happened over the last two weeks. I've just currently started a new job. It has been single handedly the hardest job I've ever had. I'm not doing much that is physical aside from running back and forth all over the building, but still, at the end of the day, I'm more exhausted than I have ever been. Every day when i leave work i feel like I've just woken up from a night filled w/ lots and lots of alcohol. You know the nights when you swallow your own vomit and keep right on going, THAT my friend is how I feel after I've left work every day this week. So tonight, I'm gonna let the fuck loose! I haven't had a girls night in a while and I'm going to take full advantage of being with my own kind! We, me and my friends, have what you call a slight drinking problem. In other words we BINGE drink and Oh my god it is so fucking fun. Just to laugh and have a fucking blast with these people who mean so damn much to you. So much that you would do anything for any of them, even if your best friend just said something awful to you, if someone, ANYONE messes with them (outside of each other) then there is never a moments hesitation. We are all right there ready to Throw Down (B Rizzle). Yes I have a friend named B Rizzle. The only nickname that I've ever know to stick around as long as this one has would be somewhere on up there with like "Air Jordan". B Rizzle she's Epic!

O.k. I'll admit it, i've just eaten the best cornbread I've ever had and this shit is just flowing out like butta (butter for all of you uncool people). I kid, I kid.

So back to my job, Hard! But even though I leave everyday not knowing whether to wind my butt or scratch my watch (Shout out to Beth) I still feel such a sense of pride. I feel so prideful when I leave that job in the afternoons because I know I've given them 110% and nothing less! And if you know anything about my previous job then you will know that I'm used to only giving about, well... close to about 60% (and that's on a curve).

I have missed reading everyones blog and I've missed ya'll so much on Messenger but damn I would'nt even have time to talk. And I'm much to paranoid to try to download that shit myself. I know ya'll are all miserably said because you don't have anyone anymore to bug the shit out of you. I was good at that (remember 60%). But i do miss you all, but hopefully this will only make my girls lust for me even more (Emily :P).

That's all. I'll try to update every weekend. So all 5 of you that read, please be patient and God Speed.

To the most beautiful woman I know... Happy Birthday

2005-06-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

The phone is ringing. My mom isn't picking it up. I was hoping to reach her on her cell phone and not her work phone because today is her 52nd birthday and she was really hoping to leave early today. I could not think of a more deserving person.

My mom was my first love. I clung to her like stink on poo. She was, and in so many ways still is, my rock. I'd pay a million dollars to see her smile. I'd throw myself in front of a bus for her to never shed another tear (thank goodness she's not a big cryer). This woman, angel, is the most important person in my life. She gave me strength, kindness, will, desire, stubborness, and the list goes on and on.

Happy Birthday Momma! I love you so much!

I didn't know

2005-06-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

I'm so oblivious to what is happening outside the safety of my "bubble". I'm safe at night and sometimes I forget to lock my front door. I always have something to eat, but often complain that the canned food and frozen food isn't what I WANT. I always have money to pay my bills. I rest my head at night on a soft bed and pillow. I have all my needs taken care of. I can't say I have all of my wants, but that is something I live with.

Last night I watched Hotel Rwanda. This was such a wake up call for the larger "bubble" that I live in called the United States of America. The Genocide the occurred in Rwanda ended in July 1994 (800,000 people {women, men, and children} were killed in the span of 3 months). I was a freshman in high school in 1994, old enough to recognize such devastation, yet I have zero recollection of this event. You better believe that if this were to happen in OUR "Bubble" it would have made world headlines. Not that Rwanda's Genocide didn't, just it wasn't drilled in. There was a quote from the movie that said "Americans will think 'That is terrible', then go right on eating their dinner" because if it doesn't directly effect us, it's usually soon forgotten. I don't want to forget, how could I. I wish I'd have known. I wish I could have helped. The UN wasn't even allowed to pull their weapons. And these people of Rwanda, they handled that with such dignity. I would have been screaming from the rooftops "WHERE IS OUR HELP. WHO IS GOING TO HELP US". Because that is what we, Americans, have come to expect. You and I could have just as easily been born into a world with far less protection.

While I was researching the genocide I found that not only did such horrible things happen in 1994, but it is happening again in Dafur right now, as we speak. Once again, I did not have any idea. I watch news on a regular basis, I'm not going to say that I totally stay tuned into CNN or MSNBC but i watch enough to have known about the total devastation that going on, right this very minute. It saddens me deeply that I complain about such insignificant things, when i'm safe and warm and have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I want to help. I want all of you to help. At the very least, go to the links above and see what I'm talking about!

Didn't "Get Milk"

2005-06-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

I love milk. I love milk so much that I drink it everyday. This morning I made an unusual stop at McDonalds for a breakfast sandwich and (2) two Milk Jugs (very small and I like milk). FORTUNATELY before I drove off, I checked the date on the top of the Jugs. They expired on June 12th. GROSS fucking GROSS. This is the second time I've gotten BAD milk from the Joelton, Tennessee McDonalds (the first time I took a drink and realized it was bad).

So I pull over, and take my jugs back in and ask for them to toss them and to please give me a non-expired milk. They searched and ALL of them were expired. Instead of offering me my money back AND throwing away ALL the bad, gross milk, she (the cashier and manager) said, "Sorry they are all dated July 12th." .... "O.k. so... o.k.... well just give me a diet coke."

To some people this may not be a very big deal, but I will not eat/drink ANYTHING past the due date. It makes me totally freaked out. I never puke, so this may very well be why. Plus it is such bad customer service to give out bad milk. It shouldn't be my damn responsibility to look at the date before I drink YOUR product.

don't know why

2005-06-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

Why do good people do bad things?

Why do bad people do good things?

Why do I worry so much?

Why can't I trust? I know, it is because ALL of you took my heart and treated it with such disregard. You abused it, kicked it, ripped it out, spat on it, and left it for dead. I was the one who was ALWAYS left to pick up the bloody remains and try to piece it back together. That pisses me off because it should have been YOU. I should have looked YOU, all of you, square in the face and said GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKER. It won't happen again. I won't be left empty and cold anymore. Why did I ever let it get to that point. WHY DID I. In a deep dark hole that is inescapable, not by your brain but by your heart. And really which do we listen to first.

I'm not bitter because you "got me", you had the "upper hand". I'm mad because you treated me like dirt and NOW, NOW i know i'm not. NOW I wish I could fuck all of your faces up. BECAUSE I am, as of today, as of yesterday, a force to be reckoned with. I'm mad because you've left such deep scars that it effects my life today. Why did you have to be so mean! I didn't deserve it! and I hate you for that!

I hate you for not trying to teach me the things I needed to be taught. YOU couldn't see the pain in my eyes. YOU couldn't see I needed guidance. I was reaching out to you and you only hurt me. YOU not only hurt me but you hurt the people I cared about the most. I wasn't old enough to find a gun, thank god, because I would have killed you. I hate that you made me cry. I hate that you made me worry so much that I would feel ill. Who were you and why did you have to come into MY life? The anger you caused me is so deep, but the pain you caused me is FAR FAR WORSE.

I want to trust, and move on. There is something that I, even now, can't grab on to and repair. I want to know what to do. I want to move past these issues. I want to give everything to YOU that YOU deserve because YOU baby, YOU deserve my full trust. I'm working on healing. Thank you for your support and all of your love. Thank you so much for your patience. I love YOU unconditionally because YOU respect my heart and that is ALL I'VE EVER WANTED.

Glutton For Punishment

2005-06-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

I feel like shit, shaken not stirred.

What I want to do before I die

2005-06-08T06:41:00.000-07:00

I was slightly (o.k. whatever) intoxicated last night and told myself I was going to write so many entries on my blog. This one, however, is the only one I can remember:

Ride a horse, bare-back, through an open field while holding on to nothing but its mane at very high speeds, while the wind blows through my hair (shhhh Jack and Emmy)
Visit Europe and take so many pictures of it's beauty that I couldn't possibly stand to take one more picture, then take another roll
Go on vacation to a spa (preferably a health spa but I'll take ANY spa)
Visit our Nation's Capital
Do significant volunteer work
Explore a "vocal" career
Have a rocking body, and know it
Go to a bed and breakfast
Own at least one horse
Ride the tallest, fastest rollercoaster in the world
Eat the best bar-b-que in the south (I'm hungry today, otherwise this might not have made my list)
Be able to do 10 consecutive (correct) push ups
Grow a Garden
Have a job that I love (soooooo important)
Visit Vegas and sit in on a high limit hand (all or nothing BABY) and hopefully win :P
Visit Hollywood
Switch to Verizon
Be carried over the threshhold
Go on a cruise
GO TO FREAKING DISNEY WORLD
Own my own business

There are more, i'll update when I can think straight, have hangover, must eat, and hopefully sleep!

Good Morning World

2005-06-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

Congrat's to me I woke up on the right side of the bed!

I just got to thinking about when I graduated High School, I sent out Thank you cards for all of my gifts and in each card i wrote congradulations (i'm not sure how that worked out). I totally spelled it wrong in my HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION thank you cards.

I didn't start to get more educated until after high school. My high school days were filled w/ whether or not my boyfriend was going to leave me, cheat on me, hurt my feelings, etc. I was totally consumed and TOTALLY stupid in love with him. Waste of time? No. I learned more from that relationship than I could have in any algebra class.

I would say the number one thing I learned from, lets just call him the asshole bitch, is that I AM important. I am so much more important than being ran over and abused! I have self worth, I am pretty, I deserve so much! He didn't think so. His loss! Now he has 3 kids, one one on the way, he is on 8 years probation because he beat up and kidnapped one of his ex-girlfriends and the last thing I heard, he tried to commit suicide. I can't say I blame him!

I'm not bitter :) I am as HAPPY AS I CAN BE that I got out of that mess. I've had my heart broken a few more times since then, but each time it happened I became stronger and stronger. I didn't take rejection as a downward spiral. I took it as a new beginning. I really am not sure where all my strength comes from, but it would be safe to say that it is probably from fear that I would get back into another shitty ass relationship!

Being an optimist is something that I am so thankful for. Each day brings me new hope. Each morning brings a new smile across my face. Each sunset leaves me feeling whole.

2005-06-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

I'm a little better now. Although, I spilled a liter of water all over my gym clothes BEFORE i went to the gym, WHILE I was at work. I salvaged what I could (only my pants that were salvagable and they looked like I had peed myself). However, I found one of Jack's shirts in the trunk (cute one too baby, bet you didn't even know it was gone) and worked out in a wrinkly ass mens polo shirt and a pair of pants that made me look like I had bladder control problems.

I'm making it. Asked the boss if I could leave early (considering I've been doing 2 peoples job for a week and a 1/2 now) but i got shot down, figures!

Beer, i think a cold beer would be good right now! Or anything that will make me not think about this Funk i'm in.

And BTW, it happens every month. and EVERY month I'm like "DAMN I'm a bitch" but really my hormones are playing tennis with each other and it's making me CRAZY!

2005-06-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

Days like today I want to go back to bed, sleep a few more hours, wake up, and get out of bed on the 'right' side.

I'm sick of my job. I wouldn't be sad if they walked in here and fired me today. i'm sure I'd stress about money, but to be free from this place would be justification enough for me.

I've got a slight headache, i wanna punch a motherfucker in the face, and i'm sleepy as fuck!

Any suggestions on how to get out of this FUNK i'm in would NOT be appreciated! Because we all know that when we are in a funk that we don't need some optimistic mofo in our grills telling us that their glass is always half full, well i spilled my glass this morning and didn't get a refill asshole!

Warning

2005-06-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

Don't lie to me!

If I ask you something, be honest! Don't fucking lie to me or I start to lose it!

Also, don't accuse me. Don't accuse me of doing something I didn't do!

I don't like getting the shaft when there isn't any good reason for me not to! I've always been a good person, who kept secrets when it was necessary. I've never been one to run my mouth when I wasn't supposed to (no more than ANYBODY ELSE). So don't lie to me!

Me, Muhself, and I

2005-05-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

Took this idea from Jennifer.

100 things about muhself:

I am a virgo.
I weighed 8 lbs 2 1/2 oz. at birth.
I had a head full of hair at birth.
I rarely can find a pair of sunglasses that I like.
When I do find them, i lose them within 6 weeks.
Mequitos eat me up like watermelon on a hot summer day.
I have a slight problem with bugs.
My boyfriend would call it and extreme problem with bugs.
I HATE it when my hands get raisony after having them submerged in water.
I wear a size 9 shoe.
I have a sister who is 22 months older than me.
I have a sister who is beautiful.
I have a sister who is my bestfriend.
Vision Cookware and a wooden spoon is not a good combo for me.
I come from a family with really large breasts.
I do not have really large breasts.
I lived in an apartment in Houston, TX and the first thing outside my door was a palm tree.
I like beer.
I don't take care of my nails.
I try to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
I'm lazy.
I'm selfish.
I hate that I'm lazy and selfish.
I love my friends unconditionally.
I work at a job that I hate.
I work w/ people that I love.
I drive a 2003 Jetta (piece o' shit)
I have a cat.
His name is Jake and I would eat him w/ a spoon if he would let me.
I had a cat for 13 years that was hit by a car recently.
Her name was abby and I miss her dearly.
I think about shit way to much.
I've had my heart broken.
I've went to jail (wish I could see that mug shot)
I've drank enough alcohol in my lifetime to fill up a pool.
I smoke cigarettes.
I used to smoke a pack every other day, now I only smoke 3 a day.
I've pulled a fire alarm (see #'s 34 and 35)
I've pulled a fire alarm at an apartment complex at 2 in the morning.
I've riden a horse.
I've played softball and really rocked the house.
Sunny days make me feel happy.
Windy days make me feel liberated.
I *heart* Jack A. Littlejohn.
I love to sing.
I feel like I will throw up if i sing in front of people.
I like to shake my booty when nobody is around.
Laying in the bed with Jake and Jack means the world to me.
I smile to myself every time I look at the clock and it says 4:20.
I *heart* cheese.
I have a good work ethic.
A dirty house makes me wanna pull my skin off.
I need to chill out.
I hate that lowfat food is so much more expensive than artery clogging foods.
I only have 3 and 1/2 more hours until my Holiday, 3 day weekend.
I'm running out of shit to type.
I dream almost every night that I am able to run log distances.
If you see me in my car, I more than likely have a cell phone attached to my face.
If you see me in my car, don't cut me off, or I'll fuck you up.
I used to want to tap dance.
I love the chipmunks christmas album.
I *heart* christmas.
I think my friends think I'm a little wierd b/c of the extremes I go to w/ my love for Christmas.
I want to own my own business.
I want to become a famous photographer.
I want to get laser hair removal on my underarms (oh and legs)
My friend K is stronger than I knew.
My friend AT is beautiful, inside and out.
My friend B is a kind soul.
My friend Em knows me better than I know myself.
I had a turtle.
He died.
RIP TURTLE.
I should be working but instead i'm trying to finish my list of 100 things about muhself.
My sister is the or one of the first paid bloggers.
I am blessed in so many ways.
I *heart* AT's kids.
I just found out that we are NOT going to be able to leave early today.
That does not suprise me at all.
I *heart* the movie "The Game".
I have 19 more to go.
I want to go on vacation.
I want to actually complete my college education.
I love to dance.
I didn't have any rythem until I was 20.
My mom taught me the importance of Good Credit.
I *heart* her for that and so many other things.
I check myself out in the mirror way to much.
I have to do a telemarketing job. That sucks.
I stick my tounge out in almost every picture.
I love butterflys.
Did I mention i'm tired.
I don't like the smell of paint.
I will not eat ANYTHING past the "sell by" date.
I *heart* my sisters boyfriend.
I have a lot of nervous habits.
I have 3 more to go.
I hope I didn't bore you.
I hope you have a great memorial day weekend.
I like to smell my upper lip.

Thank you. Good night.

Come on in, the water is fiiiiiiiiiine!

2005-05-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

I *heart* cows. Especially those cutie pies that submerge themselves in ponds. I *heart* you pond cows!

xoxo

Rock On Baby

2005-05-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

On a regular basis (seriously) I go to the gym. I love to listen to music but get dishearten when the radio plays so many commercials. Today I was scanning through the local Nashville stations and I came up on 105.9 The Rock. Today is Listener appreciation day, and even though I don't usually listen, I appreciated the requests! I had so much fun listening to oldie rock songs. They even played 'My Sharona', which was a fucking cool boost for my tedious elliptical machine workout. Just thought I'd give a shout out!

HOLLA!

2005-05-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I continue to wear white!

make er' a double

2005-05-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

Me before lunch:

"Can't you get somebody else to do it." Thanks to my mind eraser and tequilla binge last night.

Me after lunch, which was a tomatoe and a DOUBLE Latte:

"Can't I help you", "Let me do it", "No thanks, I'm taking the stairs"

I *heart* a good coffee buzz!

randomness

2005-05-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

I generally give everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt. They have 100% of my trust and curiousity (the other being if you are fucking my BFF's man then you get spat on). What I've learned from this is that the people that I like a lot in the beginning usually dissapoint and piss me off. The ones that I'm not so fond of in the beginning are the ones who become my best friend.

I'm really hungry today and am craving a piece of garlic bread. (BAAAM Gaaalic Emeril)

So I do wonder if Star Wars was worth those idiots camping out for a long ass time to see it the minute it came out, I *heart* things, but it will still be there like 2 months from now, and you can actually have an empty seat in front of you for you to prop your feet up on then.

Yummy, movie nachos are the best. Let them soak in the cheese and then they become soggy! YUMMY!

I brought vegestable soup for lunch, not gonna cut it!

I'm trading in my piece of shit car ( used to be my dream car) for something that wont make me worry about breaking down on the side of the interstate w/out a warranty.

I'm sleepy as hell today.

I'm at work and it blows.

My lunch hours have been filled w/ going to the gym, today will be no different, except today I'll be dreaming about General Tso's Chicken w/ a egg roll and fried rice.

Did I mention I'm hungry.

Boredom makes me hungry.

Sex makes me hungry.

Pot makes me hungry.

Food TV makes me beyond hungry.

Jack doesn't like to watch Food TV because it makes him hungry.

I love All my friends in so many different ways, but they complete a full circle of "family" for me (remember B, you are my relative LMAO)

i have an apple, orange, and a banana at work today for me to eat.

I just took a bite of said banana and i threw it away, i like my bananas w/ a little bit of greenness, but this one had entirely to many black spots for my linking.

there is a fucker in here about to give me work and it shouldn't piss me off, but i feel like i could scream right now!

Dearest Tompkins

2005-05-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

I will on a random basis find a cartoon character that I absolutely fall in love with.

In 9th grade I feel in love with Pumba from The Lion King. He was so random in the things he said, for example: When Timone and Pumba first met Simba, he had just lost his father, and Timone says "What's wrong you look blue" and Pumba, bless his heart says "I'd say brownish gold" - Man I *heart* that warthog. I'd pop that tape in every morning before school and it would ultimately put me in a good mood.

Then I discovered Sponge Bob Square Pants. I fell head over heels for Mr. Patrick Star. His random comments come from Every angle and he makes me laugh out loud. He's the absolute best and i wish i could kiss his face! "I'm telling on yoooooooouuuuuu"

Most recently i've discoverd a cartoon on http://homestarrunner.com. It is called "Teen Girl Squad". This cartoon makes me almost pee my pants every time I watch it. It's a must see for all of you who have a different sense of humor. There is a character in one of the toons, his name is Tompkins. It's not that I necessarily like Tompkins, but he gets asked "Tompkins, how do you be so short". I love that, I say it all the time, no one thinks it is funny but me, and that is usually how all of my love affairs w/ toons go. They make me LOL while others seem slightly confused. I guess I kind of like it that way :P

Get out of my face BITCHES

2005-05-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm holding my pee write now b/c I saw a HUGE, MOFO HUGE roach in our bathroom at my work and I FREAKED OUT! I felt like they were crawling on me. So now I have to pee and i have to go to the other restrooms (farther away and YES i'm lazy) and i just don't wanna do it.

I'm a little on the sleepy side today, but I'm super stoked about watching the new Lost tonight. It should be good. Lots of drama.

I also watched the new Britney and Kevin Show, "Chaotic", last night. I was not expecting much but I must say it was nice to see how crazy she is. She doesn't care, she is funny, goofy and carefree and I can relate. I would go fucking NUTS if people were constantly meddling (sp?) in my business. I'm not a private person per say, but I sure the fuck do not want someone sticking their nose up in my business. I'd be in jail for punching a fucker out for taking my pic on a morning i got up on the wrong side of the bed. So I applaud her for holding her composure in such situations. What we don't realize that with every InTouch, USWeekly, People magazines that we buy, we are promoting the horrid behavior of such paparazzi. I heard Renee Zellweger say on Oprah that that one picture that you see in the magazine isn't that they happened to catch her at that one particular gas station that day, it's that they have been following her around since she left the house. She said she would be afraid to go home because she didn't want them to know where she lived and so she would drive to the local police station and sit in her car and cry. MY GOD that is terrible. So cudos to you all, i would go ballistic!

That is why i am an administrative assistant and not a famous singer! LOL, oh i'm not sure the ladder is much better!

2005-05-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten how loud a casino is until I visited the Harrah's Casino in Metropolis (home of Superman), IL this weekend. I now remember leaving Las Vegas and having a very distinct, but faint dinging in my ear for most of the flight home. The funny thing is that at Harrah's they have Bose speakers attached to every machine. So you KNOW when somebody gets a Jackpot Party Bonus (gett itttttt).

I stuck to the nickel slots until they unmercifully whooped my ass and then I moved on to the penny slots. Jack sat at a penny slot machine for nearly 2 hours, battling back and forth between certain doom.

I have quite an impulse to bid the highest amount of lines x's the max amount because and especially if you are on a penny slot machine, you need to go big or you start getting too excited about winning 60 cents. I actually overheard a conversation from a man that was on one of the penny slots and he said "Wow, so I won sixty dollars just like that", I looked, he had just one sixty credits, lets see dumbass you are on a PENNY MACHINE, do the math, oh wait you don't have to, just add a decimal!

The people that come to the Casino, may be different, but the vast majority of them seem the same. OLD, on oxygen (or close to it considering the amount of second hand smoke i inhaled) and seemingly desperate. Desperate to win the money that they have dreamed of, but if they could only step back and realize that they've put in the money that they would like to win, so to all you old people who think you are going to strike it rich @ Harrah's in IL, maybe you should reconsider, maybe invest in stock you have at least a 10% more chance of gaining financially.

Although, I certainly appreciate my Mom for taking me and the Jacksters out for fun and for letting us blow through around 400 dollars. Fun but it is just so damn painful, once it is over, I'm thinking 'Wow I could buy so many groceries with that money'.

Good Day, and happy mundane monday, hope it isn't as shitty as mine!

Sort of maybe a restaurant review/confidence level meter

2005-05-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Over the last five years or so, I've been becoming a lot more independent and confident. I'd rank myself high actually on the confident list. I had an experience today that set me back a bit.

I was visiting a local restaurant in Green Hills, one that I expected to be a sit down, have someone bring you water and your meal restaurant. I entered and it was complete chaos. There were two lines and I wasn't sure which one to be in and neither were the fuckers in front of or behind me and I sure the fuck wasn't gonna go around asking the whole damn place.

So I finally merged to the front and the guy took my order and within 60 seconds he was handing me my food and off I went. I didn't know where to pay, when I should pay. I was oblivious. So I sat down and ate that shit, looking up from my Nashville Scene (Britta's Cover Story) to see whether I was about to be condemned for eating a meal that I had yet to pay for. I sat at a table for four, yet I was the only one and I felt that I was being scolded for taking up a whole table.

Needless to say, I didn't like the experience. It was uncomfortable and so not relaxing. I can tell you from that experience alone that I'm not a "fast-paced" type of person. I like slow, relaxed, take yoga and sip on green tea type of gal.

So, for the restaurant food, EXCELLENT ( had tamato soup and chicken salad pita). Must try, Kalamatas YUMMY! The atmosphere (which it was a local lunch rush) no so much.

Wow

2005-05-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that it had been almost a month and a half since I wrote in my blog. I'm going to do better!

Friday

2005-05-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

I start off my work week with a utter dissatisfaction for Mondays. As Wednesday creeps by, my mood seems to lift. And then here we are again at Friday and I'm fucking ecstatic. You would think after 7 years of a nine-five job I would quit getting so damn excited about Fridays, knowing that the weekend flys by in a blink of an eye, only to wake up Monday morning again with complete disbelief that its FUCKING MONDAY... AGAIN!!!!

So I'm going to try to change that, somehow, haven't been able to for the last 7 years, but somehow I'll make Mondays better! Otherwise I'll fucking lose it!

So my Sister, http://brittney.typepad.com, has gotten herself this KICK ASS job at WKRN blogging for them and getting paid for the shit! I LOVE HER ASS! http://nashvilleistalking.com is the website, if you are interested, and you should be!

The sis and I are going to hang out w/ our mom tomorrow, then I'm spending some QT time with the Jacksters.

So All (the two or three of you), enjoy your weekend! I'll be back here on Monday, bright and fucking chipper as ever!

Repeat

2005-03-31T11:27:00.001-08:00

Why the hell can't I find anything to talk about. My mind is constantly wandering (or is it wondering). I've ALWAYS got something to talk about. It is just when I sit down to blog, my mind goes friggin blank.

My co-worker listens to 107.5 the river all day, on a rather loud volume setting, and let me tell you - Top 40 sucks ASS. I can't really understand why a radio station that repeats songs over and over again throughout the day can actually maintain its business. I mean, I love the occasional (being the operative word) G-Unit or Kelly Clarkson, but when it is shoved down your throat on a daily basis you eventually begin to purge it up. I need some inspirational music so I can make it through the fucking day man. I've been here for almost 3 years and I NEED SOME HELP MAKING IT and 107.5 the river aint cutting it. Another fine example of how 107.5 the River SUCKS ASS is that I rarely flip over to the them while my morning show (LuLu and Brad about you ) is on a commercial break and I'll catch about 10 minutes worth. Then inevitably i'll come to work, 107.5 the river will be on and they will REPEAT their whole bit, over again. And you can so tell that it is scripted. That SUCKS. Originality and spontaneity is where it is at on talk radio shows. Oh Lord, Tim McGraws most recent song just came on, excuse me while I go VOMIT.

Man, I shouldn't have had that broccoli soup for lunch, it wasn't much fun coming back up.

2005-03-31T11:27:00.000-08:00

I love you more than I can explain.

My New Man

2005-03-18T06:12:00.000-08:00

His name is Jake. I met him a week ago tomorrow. When our eyes met I knew. He seemed sad, secluded and confused but he was attentive to me affection. I only spent a few minutes with him before i took him home with me. The ride home was very surreal. He seemed distant. I was concerned. Once we pulled into the driveway, I led him into the house and he immediately began to become more at ease. I thought he might be hungry so I offered him food, but he declined. I spent the next couple of hours tending to his every need. Then the moment came when he decided to become intimate. He crawled into my lap and began to purr. I instantly fell in love with him at that moment.

Last night he slept in the bed with me and Jack and I know now that he loves me just as much as I love him!

Sometimes

2005-03-18T06:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes on a bright, sunny day I can forget about my problems, forget about the worlds problems and just breathe easy and bask in the glory of the sunshine.

2005-03-01T13:09:00.000-08:00

Fortunately I had never had to experience death. I mean sure, I've had aunts, uncles, and grandparents pass, but noone that was a part of my daily life, noone that passed through my mind on a daily basis.

On Saturday I lost someone who was very, very, very special to me. Someone who had been a part of my daily life and someone who had passed through my mind on a daily basis for thirteen years. My heart had never felt pain like that. I couldn't and still can't explain how my heart felt. I know time heals all things, and will this too, but I miss her dearly.

I plan to plant a garden in her name, sort of a memorial.

2005-03-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

run on sentences are my specialty

My momma told me to pick the very best one

2005-02-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

I broke my toe :(

I've been sick since last Thursday and on Monday my kitty kat was meowing to get out on the back porch and me, being sick and not wanting to get up, hastily jumped up and smacked my pinky toe on my right foot right on the bar stool in my kitchen. O.k. so I stopped and just let the pain consume my whole body, and like usual it ended in about 30 seconds, UNTIL I WALKED AGAIN. Holy shit! I did not know why i had immense pain in my foot until I decided, via searching the internet, that i had actually fractured my toe.

This the first bone in my body that I've ever broke, and I have to say it isn't to bad, I mean I wouldn't wish it upon someone, but it isn't like how I imagined a broken bone would be. If I had to have a broken bone, I would have chosen this one.

2005-02-23T09:32:00.000-08:00

Procrastination is something that happens to me very often, and it really makes me appreciate it when I do that thing I'm supposed to do not at the last minute.

2005-02-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

Depression is not something that comes over me very often, but when it does, it really makes me appreciate that it is a very seldom emotion.

gambling

2005-02-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

So... I went to the TN Lottery website and did a little research on the scratch card games that still have unclaimed prizes. It tells you how many per amount of money. I wrote down the ones that seemed good and off I went with my highlighted list to the nearest, most deserted (I'm still a closet gambler) gas station and ordered myself up 7, one dollar tickets of Tennessee's finest. I won 25 dollars :). Of that 25 dollars I won 21 off of just one ticket. I was instantly excited (no pun intended).

Money, money, money.. I've never had a lot of it, but I dream about what i would do with it if I did somehow come across a huge lump sum just for me. I would pay off all my bills, give to my family and friends, yada yada yada (<-----for emily)... but here is a list of things that maybe you wouldn't expect me to do with my money:

I would so get a tanning bed package and splurge on that cool ass hemp tanning lotion
I would go to the nearest Walgreens and buy every bit of makeup that my little heart desired.
I would fly first class, ahhh the reclining seats and the sparkling water, what a treat, then I would get up and trade my seat with the first person I saw fit.
I would buy my sister a lifetime of insurance (plus lots, lots, more depending upon the amount of money).
A Horse and a farm would be next on my purchase list, of course that would mean that I would have to tend to the farm, so maybe I would just buy a horse and pay to keep it somewhere on someone else's farm.
I'd get my damn windows tinted on my VW b/c B Rizzle always has ALWAYS wanted me to do that.
I'd get porcelain veneers (sp?), and smile so much that it would hurt my face.
oh, duh, i'd quit my job.
I'd buy Jack Super Bowl Tickets for the rest of his life (plus all of those really cool DVD's that have all of the past super bowls on them).
I'd also buy Jack a date with Warren Haynes.
I would invest a lot of the money to secure that I don't blow it all on Super Bowl Tickets and Hemp tanning lotion.
I'd get my hair did (like Emily).
I'd go to Hollywood.
I'd start up my own photography business, while I was attending school for photography full time because I quit my job.
No friend of mine would be without a vehicle, working computer, and I would make sure that they never ever wore an outfit that was last season.
I'd go into the most expensive clothing stores, look at the price tags and run screaming to T.J. Maxx, where you can get 10 outfits to their one silk blouse.
I would pay to lunch with Oprah.

Umm, that is all i can think of now. Here is to TN and its kick ass lottery. cheers ;)

rambling

2005-02-09T06:18:00.000-08:00

My how time flys....

Since I've been living paycheck to paycheck, the years are flying bye. I can not believe that it is already February. I also can't believe that my one year anniversary to my BF is coming up. March 1st will be our one year anniversary (we weren't actually sure of the date). The Bush Twins are 23 years old now, It seems like yesterday that they were getting busted for buying beer at a skanky Texas bar (or was it a gas station?).

It is scary. All my life people have told me "The older you get, the faster time flys bye (is it bye or by?)", well, unfortunately they were right. Every day I'm just a little wiser, but every day I also notice more and more wrinkles. I will admit, I'm scared as hell to get old, not because of the way I will look, but because my ass don't wanna die. I value, VALUE my life. Why do I freak out about health issues, because I LOVE MY LIFE. Why do I freak out when I'm in the back seat of a car when my BFF B Bell is driving, because I LOVE MY LIFE. Why do I drive drunk, because I'm DUMB, but it doesn't mean I don't LOVE MY LIFE. Why do I chose not to go skiing, Because, say it with me, I LOVE MY LIFE.

I can remember being about between about 7-9 and just stressing the fuck out about death. So, as much as I value my life, how come I don't try more to better it? Because I'm lazy, because I'm comfortable, because i just don't try hard enough. Well, that is all gonna change, I expect to be living fat within 20 years, whether it be because of the lottery or because my Photography business took off. I'm gonna be able to go on that Cancun Vacation and have it not cut into my grocery fund. I want that!

Wouldn't change a thing....

2005-02-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

Somehow, I've made the transition from Junior Department to women's Department (and it had nothing to do with the size of my ass). I was never sure how this would happen and it was a concern for me. Let me tell you, it was very gradual or maybe that it is that I don't go shopping enough to know if it was abrupt.

However, I am now at the point that I would trade a mini skirt for a calf length skirt anyday. I like the classy look. I wanna say goodbye to the trashy look. I guess that comes along with being a 25 year old woman. WOW, I've never EVER called myself a woman before. When I was 15, a 25 year old was such an adult, but being a 25 year old, I still feel sometimes like a 15 year old. Funny how those things work out.

Some things that have changed over the last ten years, for me:

The amount of sleep I require.
BILLS, they went from an Insurance payment to a whole fuckin lot of em'.
I can't sleep on the floor without feeling like my spine needs an entire adjustment.
I have indigestion.
I have a co-worker.
I have a car payment.
I get excited about a new pen.
A multi-vitamin is a must.
Boys have become men.
My waistline.
My friends.
The way I view things.
My vocabulary.
I have now read more books than just Little House in the Big Woods.
My eye sight.
How alcohol effects me.
I smoke.
My relationship with my sister (believe it or not, at 15 I was still whoopin that ass).
My relationship with my Mother. (She calls those years the "Where's my Baby" years.)
I can no longer ride a bike without feeling like my pubic bone is bruised. (WHY!!!!!)
Coffee, Oh Yes, 15 "Coffee is Gross", 25 "Coffee is without a doubt second to God".
I don't drive a hatchback.
I've been to Vegas, and reallly wanna go back.
I've had an alcoholic binge hospital visit.
My teeth :(

February 8, 2005

2005-02-08T06:34:00.000-08:00

It starts today and you know what, I couldn't be more excited about it.

Why does that look creamy?

2005-02-01T06:27:00.000-08:00

I love breakfast. Every morning when I get to work I cook me 2 soy sausage patties and top it off with All Fruit Jelly (strawberry being my favorite), then I either toast an english muffin, bread, or sometimes a waffle, mix it all together and you've got yourself a tasty ass breakfast! I ALWAYS get a skim Milk from Kroger and today was no different, exept that the milk that i bought was OLD. Old to me is expiring the day of, or the day before. In this case, my milk expired on 1/31/05 - today is 2/1/05! GRODY! I took one drink and could immediatly tell the difference. :( so today I ate my soy patties and waffle without my milk, and it just wasn't the same.

I'm a wierd one when it comes to expiration dates on food. I will not touch a piece of bread that is expired. Mold makes me wanna projectile vomit all over the place. I truly think that is why I can count the number of times I've puked on one hand.

However, recently I visited my sisters house brittney.typepad.com and I noticed a pan of Mexican cornbread laying on the table. I asked her BF if it was still good (a common question) he said yes, I put it in my mouth, started to chew, thought to myself that it tasted like dukey, but the whole time he was sitting there watching me and then as I started to swallow he said "Wait, I think it is bad" WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT, panic stricken I ran to the sink and washed out my mouth 1,000 times.

It was a terrible terrible thing. I luckily just put it out of my mind and have even since then had a piece of mexican cornbread, but it was No fun!

2005-01-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

So I'm back in school. I started off with two night classes and have now dropped down to one. The class I am currently enrolled in is Black & White 1 and tonight is the first time EVER that I'm going to develop my own film :) I'm nervous. I just practiced (already wasted 2 rolls) rolling it on the reel because I have to do it tonight, in pitch ass dark! LOL, that will be a sight (no pun intended).

I'm on my way. Slowly, but surely!

Saturday Night

2005-01-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

Me, "Jack, me and Kristin are going to the bathroom too. Wait for us out here."

Time Lapse 3 minutes...

Me, "Where is he."

Kristin, "I dont know (slur)"

Me, "Maybe he is in the car"

Not in car

Back inside

Me, "JACK" - yelling into the boys restroom

Then out of the corner of my eye, I see my boyfriend stumbling from one side of the parking lot to the other. I thought I was gonna pee my pants.

This all was after many many shots and lots of beer. I was concerned he'd fallin in.

I heard everything you said

2005-01-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

So, this weekend I went to visit my sister brittney.typepad.com and she asked if I wanted to see Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I obliged because I had been wanting to see it.

o.k. so since then I've seen the movie three times and also bought it! This could quite possibly be the funniest movie that I've ever seen. (eat it with cornbread and it'll be 100 times funnier).

Check it out! http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/reviews/review_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000535988

Or this too! http://www.haroldandkumar.com/

Something New

2005-01-12T11:21:00.000-08:00

So I've been sick for almost two weeks now. I've used up all of my sick time and will not have any until July. I guess I should make sure that I take a multi-vitamin. I told the boyfriend last night that I had no other choice but to be better by today. I woke up this morning in a fantabulous mood and it has steadily declined since then.

I love many many aspects about my job, I just don't like my job. Does that make any sense? People here are really starting to bother me and it is really hard for me to be nice. If anybody even barely steps out of line, I'm quick to be a huge biatch. I hate that, that is not who I want to be, but no matter what I seem to do it time and time again.

I start back to school next week. I'm going to obtain my technical certificate in Photography at the not so prestigious Nashville State Community College, but It is convenient and it is something that I really, really enjoy (considering the above). Photography is something that has not always been a passion. I do recall the very first time that I realized that I wanted to be a photographer. I was on my way back to Texas from Oklahoma City, OK and there was a hill. At the top of that hill stood an old dead tree with limbs that made it seem like something from a fictional novel. Behind the tree was a brilliant purple, red and orange sunset. At that very moment I thought to myself, 'I wish I had a camera'. Then i suddenly realized that I didn't just want to capture the image for myself, I wanted to share that image with people who would appreciate the beauty like I did. That is why I decided to go to school, to make the transition from a vision to reality. It still seems so huge that I can not wrap my brain around it, but I know that I will do this for myself. I will enjoy my work the same as I enjoy my free time and that will be the best gift I could ever give myself.

Hers

2005-01-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

My kitty kat keeps pissing on the floor beside the litter box that I have been cleaning diligently. Why does hers do that.

I love kitties. The way they love you unconditionally, yet can be completely independent. My BF says a cat is a lazy persons pet. Well... O.k. I'll give you that. I love that my cat shits, eats, drinks and bathes all by herself. It's the simplicity of that that makes having a cat so wonderful because the only thing that is left is to love on her. And all cats should be girls BTW. and all dogs should be boys. That is just how it should be.

I think every household should have a pretty kitty :)

2005-01-05T08:21:00.000-08:00

I've been pwetty sick. I've had a really terrible cough and congestion. NO FUN Man!

New Years Eve was one to soon forget. I was drunk at around 10:30 and in bed by 12:00 (got my kiss though). Brandy came flying through the kitchen, "Come on ya'll the balls dropping" like a kid in a candy store. She was about to freaking lose her composure she was so excited. Oh wait, she fucking sooooo lost her composure that night. She was fuckin crazy. Not sure how she got that drunk.

I'm glad it is a new year. I'm ready to make some necessary changes in my life!

Happy New Year.

My bestest girlfriends

2004-12-30T06:06:00.000-08:00

AT - I love you! You are such a great part of my life. You make me smile when smiling is not possible. Your caring soul and your kind heart make the world a better place. I'm so happy and appreciative to have you as my friend!

B-Rizzle - You are one of a kind my dear! I love you with every part of my soul. You have the best heart and you always make me laugh, even if you are not laughing with me. You always help me to look at things from different perspectives and I'm so happy that I've had the pleasure of being your friend for so many years.

Meems - Oh Meems, Oh Meems... We've been through a hell of a lot my dear. Who knew that we would meet that day on Ash Court and still be best of friends today. Thank you for all of the great memories. I love you so much it hurts!

Brittney - My sister, the one who knows me the very best. You own half of my heart. Without you I would have had to endure the tribulations of our childhood alone. Thanks for being a pillar and thank you for caring so much for me. I would beat the shit out of somebody for you and I know you would do the same. The way you protect me is unbelievable. I love you!

Brandi Leighann - You crazy girl, I know you will never read this but I love you so much. You are like the exact same person as I am (when it comes to emotions). I'm so glad that I can be completely psycho, call you and you will tell me that I am perfectly sane! I wouldn't trade that for the world. I love you so much!

Special K - I've known you for just a short time, but the place that you have in my heart will always remain there! You bring such a different dynamic to the "fun girl" crew. I love you!

Tay - To the person that always taught me how to be strong, independent and have self worth. I thank you for so many things. You are one of a kind. I love you.

My morning...then it was put into perspective

2004-12-29T14:24:00.000-08:00

oh what a fan-fuckin-tastic morning I had. It was all great, I got my goodbye kiss and I was off to work. That is until my car got stuck. You see, I live in a County about 30 minutes North of Nashville. Although, I work in Nashville. We were hit hard on the Wednesday before Christmas with Ice and Snow. Its taken the shit a lot longer to melt where I live. Nashville shows no reminisce of winter weather.

O.k. so I'm leaving and ooops, i get stuck. The boyfriend comes outside to help my get out but unbeknownst to me, i've pulled to far back into slush and am not able to get out. The boyfriend leaves to go to work. I am soooo stupid headed that I think that I will be able to get out myself. No, i just get more stuck. By this time my car is turned completely sideways, lined up next to the fence in my backyard. I have NO idea how I got it like that.

My Best Friends dad comes to the rescue. It takes a good hour of pulling and pushing and stinky burning rubber, but gosh damnit, we got out! You would have thought I won a million dollars the way I threw my hands up!

Didn't get to work until 10:00.

When I got to work I checked the headline news, as I always do. The Tsunami was obviously the top story. I'm generally very curious about natural disasters. Give me a bag of popcorn and a documentary on Tornadoes and I'm set for the night but the devastation that this particular disaster has caused is unsurpassed (at least in my days). I watched CNN yesterday when I got home from work and there was a woman who was crying, so of course she was interviewed (although I'm sure they are not short on people crying). She said she lost everything. Her husband, and all four of her children. Including an 8 month old whom she was holding until the water swept him away. She was at a mass burial because she had found her son on the street and took him to this "hole" to be buried.

My God this woman is in so much pain. I wanted to change the channel. Do something to help but all I could do was sit there in disbelief. My heart has never felt pain like that. I hope that my heart never feels pain like that. My feelings get hurt for people when they get hung up on, or when they trip and fall. I don't think my heart could even hurt enough for this woman. There would be nothing I could say or do to make her heart not burst. I pray for this woman, that is all I can do!

Ho Ho HO

2004-12-29T14:23:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful holiday. Didn't get to sleep in much though.

I got lots of things I wished for.

All in all it was wonderful!

I've got a bandaid on me arm (aaarrrrr)

2004-12-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

I'm a natural born picker. I pick at my nose, my scabs, anything that can be picked at, I pick at it. Gross, I know. Although, I can not help myself. I'm either bleeding or caught red-handed with my finger up my nose before I even realize what is going on. Temporary Insanity? I'll plead that.

"I don't know what you are talking about!"

Lets see, what is something else that I do....

I can do a really good chicken noise.

10 MORE things I love about YOU!

2004-12-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

The way you laugh.
The way you make me laugh.
The way you love my cat.
The way you open doors for me.
The way you look into my eyes.
The way you drink your coffee really fast.
The way you strategically place your hand under the pillow for the chance to meet up with my hand sometime in the middle of the night.
The way you love my sister and her VCB.
How when I'm not near you, you make me want to be so very badly.
That you miss me.

Will it? Oh please oh please

2004-12-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

Oh please let it snow. I want to go sledding. The boyfriend and I already have a sled ready to go. Oh please oh please let it snow!

morning

2004-12-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning.

Tuesday morning is much much better than Monday mornings.

This is how my morning begins. My boyfriend hits snooze for me at least 5 times, each time telling me exactly what time it is, each time I sit up just to double check what time it is. I wake up at the very last possible minute, shut the door to the bedroom and hop in the shower. Take a 5 minute shower and get dressed. Wake up boyfriend. Drink coffee. Start car. Drink more coffee and watch morning news for 10 minutes. Boyfriend gets up. Invite him to drink coffee with me, he declines. He needs to get in shower because he to has gotten up late. Get a kiss before he gets in the shower. Finish coffee. Get a goodbye kiss from soap covered boyfriend. Go out to car and start loading things up. Boyfriend bangs on front door to blow me a kiss. Leave the house at 6:45. Get to work at 7:35 (5 minutes late). Do it all again the next morning.

Fun stuff, wouldn't change a thing about it!

2004-12-20T06:29:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling vulnerable today. That feeling is so yucky!

It's probably because i'm really tired today. don't know! but really wanna feel better.

10 things I love about YOU

2004-12-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

The way you look at me when you think i'm sleeping
How gentle you are with me
The fact that if I put on your house shoes, you will not even pause to put on my pink fluffy house shoes
Your strength
Your kind heart
The way you make me feel
How passionate you are about your music (didn't know that did you)
The way you call me Baby
The way you love your Momma and your brother
The way you protect me (even though now it doesn't matter which side of the bed you sleep on because the bad man can come in either door)

This is just a small small list of things I love about YOU. There are so so so so many many many more.

I can not wait to see you tonight.

I'm fucking crazy

2004-12-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

There are many many things in this life o' mine that makes me feel shitty, but mainly and in particular there is one thing and that is mother fucking PMS.

It makes me a crazy fucker. I cry at the drop of a hat. Make shit up in my head. Eat a lot of chocolate (yes i know its a cliche). Cry at the the drop of a hat. Make shit up in my head. Cry at the drop of a hat. Make those around me miserable (not on purpose xoxo).

I wish there was something you could do about it but the funny thing is that i've had PMS ever since I was about 10 ( I know grody) and even until this day (I'm 25) It will still hit me like a ton of bricks. I'll be right smack in the middle of a mental breakdown and be like "Oh my, the world is coming to an end" and then and only then I'll remember 'Hey I start my period in a few days' DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is what the fuck is wrong with me, too late! and it happens that way everytime. Damn Damn Damn damn damnnnnnn!

2004-12-14T13:58:00.000-08:00

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend!

You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first

And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide

Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy know

He'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree

What Kind Of Girlfriend Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

2004-12-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

You are the tree-loving faerie. The Earth Faerie.
Nature is your friend, all the little animals
are cute and cuddly, even those that bite. You
are a strong friend, people have a tendancy to
go to you when they are feeling sad. You have a
motherly instinct and always want to kiss away
the tears.

What's your inner Faerie?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-12-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

Cleveland
You are blue collar and Rock n Roll. You Work hard and party harder.

GET IT MARIO

2004-12-09T07:12:00.000-08:00

I'm super duper stoked that my all time favorite video game (seeing I don't play video games) has came out with a new version http://www.nintendo.com/gamemini?gameid=c42e35a0-e62d-4ffa-a28f-ff966b205184. MARIO FREAKIN PARTY 6!

Now for someone who never plays video games, let me fill you in on just how much I love this game. I mastered the art of pushing A really really fast which in turn caused a pretty severe callous on my pointer finger on my right hand. Although, I didn't mind b/c it just helped me push A faster because all the nerve endings were numb.

Hooray for Nintendo for fulfilling my fantasies. We (me and all my cornbread eating friends) have long wondered when the new version of the most kickass game would come out and unbeknownst to us came out right under our little noses.

Can't wait to play 50 rounds my Peeps!

P.S. Know your mushrooms and Keep it real.... Yaaa hooooo

New New New

2004-11-17T08:16:00.000-08:00

I deleted my Typepad blog b/c I decided that paying for it was NOT worth it and I now join all of my other blogger buddies :)

K, that is it, now I gotta send emails to let all of you know.